Saying Goodbye Part 2

When I wrote Saying Goodbye: Part 1 I had no idea what Part 2 would be. I honestly try to remember what I was thinking when I titled it that and I cannot figure it out. Now I know why.

Yesterday was my last day in uniform. It was Sunday morning, March 6, 2022, and my First Sergeant told me to come to the commander’s office to “finish the next round of paperwork.” I had been waiting for this moment for several months, albeit this did catch me somewhat off-guard. 

December of 2021 was the deadline. “Get vaxxed or get out.” If you’ve been following my story for a while now then you are familiar with how the process has been going since we military members received that cynical ultimatum. I’m not going into all the details again. I won’t express how stupid and foolish it is to take an experimental biological agent because “the government told me to”. I won’t go over all the examples of how bowing down to tyranny is the most anti-American thing you can do (which is ultimately why many people got it — shocker, we have Americans who hate America). I won’t go into how none of this makes any sense whatsoever no matter how you look at it. Or how getting this “vaccine” makes anyone “mission ready” when all the vaccinated people are still contracting the virus and spreading it to others in addition to the vaccine creating so many health issues, including killing those who take it. 

So, here’s what I will get into. I gave 15 years of voluntary service to my country. I’ve been on 2 combat deployments and 2 non-combat deployments. I have suffered and do suffer from back, toe, and knee injuries. I have moderate hearing loss and tinnitus. I have experienced and am experiencing PTSD. I’ve been exposed to burn pits—literal chunks of black rubber falling from the sky every Tuesday on “rubber day” during one of my deployments (as if the rockets and mortars falling from the sky weren’t enough—thanks, Uncle Sam). And that’s just what’s in my medical records. Forget the other “small stuff” I didn’t feel the need to report. I did this because I believed I was serving a just cause and defending freedom around the globe. I did this out of my patriotic duty.

“Defending Freedom.” What does it even mean? I presented this to my brothers-in-arms recently. “How can you put the uniform on and defend freedom and bow the knee to tyranny at the same exact time?” I can’t do it. I won’t do it. Oh the hypocrisy! 

So, after 15 years of service, the United States Air Force has thanked me by sending me out the door with no retirement and no pension and no compensation. My Religious Accommodation Request has been denied. My 1st Amendment right has been denied. My appeal has been denied. My basic rights as a human being have been denied.

I signed my “thank you” letter that Sunday morning standing in front of my commander. Said letter wasn’t titled “thank you”, however. It was titled “Letter of Reprimand”. It wasn’t my congratulatory retirement or promotion paperwork. It was my Article 92, Failure to Obey a Lawful Order. “Lawful”. There’s nothing lawful about this. This is unlawful. My commander, along with every other person in uniform, swore an oath to uphold and defend the constitution. And now? They are turning their backs to it. They are turning their backs on me and every other American. I have been betrayed by my own government—by my own brothers-in-arms.

I broke the news to my friends at lunch later that day. They were all vaccinated, except for one (he is right behind me in this process). They made their choice a while ago and they now regret it. I digress. So, I stood up and I said, “Well, guys…today is my last day in uniform. I knew this day was coming, but I didn’t expect to it to be all accomplished in just a few short hours. It sucks. I didn’t want to leave like this, but it is what it is. I will never capitulate. I will never bow the knee to this authoritarian government.” 

My heart is broken. The betrayal from my government, the forced goodbyes, the injustice…it’s all so wrong. I won’t be bitter. I am proud of my service in what was known as the Air Force. I don’t know what it is now, but it’s certainly not the Air Force. I’m not proud of our current military. I’m ashamed of it. Did you know that if I want to be a woman the Air Force (well, you the taxpayer) will pay for my surgeries and transition? I won’t even be “mission ready” during that whole time. BUT! Since I have a sincerely held religious belief that prevents me from taking this experimental biological agent derived from aborted fetal cells, then I must be dismissed from duty. Make sense of that one. You can’t. And if you can, then you’re part of the problem. 

One of my close friends sent me this sincere text at the end of the day after I had departed the military installation. I got choked up, for sure. In fact, typing it out on here is making it difficult to see this screen. We’ve served alongside each other for both of our entire military careers—over 15 years together through all the Alarm Reds and the deserts and the berating NCOs and the separation from our loved ones. We’ve shared bunkers, rooms, food, care packages, and experiences together that most people will never understand. I had so much invested and so many experiences and friendships that affected my life and now they’re all gone—stolen from me. His text read: 

My heart broke today. I regret getting the vaccine. I really do. I love you too, pal. Our nation was weakened today. All of my favorite military memories have one thing in common, you. 

I have many regrets in my own military career. Anyone who says they have no regrets is either a liar or a fool. However, I have no regrets in my decision which led to me being terminated from service. My hope and trust is in God Almighty who is Sovereign Ruler and the Just Judge before whom all will stand and account for their role in this injustice. Not just my personal injustice, but every injustice against every American. My hope and prayer now is that America will be given righteous leaders who will turn the direction of this country from its evil ways. This all sounds dramatic doesn’t it? It should. It is dramatic. The state of our union is in dire need of help. God will not bless a nation ruled by evildoers and oath-breakers. In fact, God will judge this nation. So, I humbly ask God to show mercy on us and send us righteous leaders to correct our course. I strongly believe that without God’s help we are living in the last days of the Republic of The United States of America. I wish there were more of us holding the line.

Vindicate me, O God, and defend my cause against an ungodly nation, from the deceitful and unjust man deliver me! For you are the God in whom I take refuge.” Psalm 43:1-2